" At this point, the kid burst out crying. This pulled off a miracle; it got a heartfelt response out of a Springer audience. "Don't cry, Suzie, we have your wife-turned-mother here with us today, and here she comes now." The music started up again, and out came Samantha, to sit over by her wailing child. "That's okay, sweetie, mama's here, shushhhh." Before long, Suzie was calmed down enough for Jerry to speak. "Okay, Samantha, for the sake of argument, let's say that magic is real, and this kid isn't nuts; why would you do this to your husband? If you wanted a kid, there is this stuff called Viagra." "Look, Jerry, she didn't tell the whole story. Not only was my husband useless in bed, he was cheating on me with three different women, and he only treated me like his little slave and baby factory. So that Old Man at the mall sold me a potion that got rid of my nasty husband, but also gave me the sweetest little daughter. She doesn't like this yet,. ...an antiperspirant. Okay, okay, he got the point - he'd freshen upin a minute....a book. A quick thrill raced through Felix's body, until herealized that it was just a day-timer, with his schedule of classestaped to the front. The schedule was exactly the same as his had beenthe day before, except that it listed "Felicia Ryder" rather than"Felix Madison" for a name. Checking the clock, Felix realized that hehad a quiz in his Statistics class in half an hour. While his gradeshad been good enough that he probably could afford to miss it, hedidn't know whether or not that had changed last night. Better goanyway.Felix quickly brushed his hair, or tried to. He'd never had quite somuch before, and after ten minutes was content with it not being in hiseyes and not sticking out like horns anywhere. He was distressed tofeel his nipples stiffen as he applied the antiperspirant - Felixdidn't recall underarms being one of a woman's erogenous zones. Maybehe was just finding every.
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